Another Movie Guy?: "Choke," etc

Welcome to “Another Movie Guy?”! I review recent new releases, and then mention similar movies worth checking out. If all goes according to plan, you’ll have some new additions to your Netflix queue. Or someone with whom you can angrily disagree.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. There’s a guy going through an existential crisis. He derives no satisfaction from his job, and starts going to group therapy sessions. Friends try and help him, but no avail. He tries to find catharsis through deviant behavior. This guy ultimately finds answers in a strange woman with unexpected secrets. The world is worse than when the guy started, but his new epiphany provides him some measure of happiness. No, I’m not talking about Fight Club, but Choke, the new Chuck Pahlaniuk adaptation. A few years ago I started reading the book, but never finished. I should have trusted those same instincts, and seen something else.

Sam Rockwell plays Victor Mancini, a misanthropic sex addict. He goes to meetings for his addiction, but they aren’t helping. He works a shitty job in a kids museum that closely resembles Colonial Williamsburg. With him as always is Denny, a chronic masturbator and kindred spirit. Most of Victor’s money goes to help his mother (Angelica Huston), who suffers from dementia. Victor is also a scam artist – he lets himself choke in restaurants, and the people who save him also help out financially. Soon he meets a new doctor (Kelly MacDonald) for whom he has real feelings. Of course, like the hero of Fight Club, Victor does not know what to do with them.

The actors is all perfectly adequate, but the inadequate writing hinders the performances. Rockwell is perfectly cast – no one can play a weirdo quite like he can. He’s in nearly every scene, but Choke switches so suddenly from humor to pathos that it’s dizzying. I wasn’t able to keep up with the tonal shifts, so I simply stopped caring. Angelica Huston, whose mere presence always brings a smile, does what many actresses have done before. It’s comforting to see her, but I didn’t care about her character. MacDonald, whose gentle eyes were invaluable to No Country for Old Men, plays a similar role here, but this time her character is ludicrous. No actor is bad, but they are all unmemorable.

Nothing in the movie really works. It is certain that Clark Gregg, making his directorial debut, is no David Fincher. Gregg, who appears in the movie as Rockwell’s boss, is a reliable actor who is often cast as an FBI agent. I’m not sure what attracted him to Choke, but he didn’t do any service to the book. Fight Club is compulsively watchable for its directorial flourishes. Gregg uses some of those tricks, but they do not add to the story. Choke aspires to be subversive, but fails. I never thought I’d see the day when I yawn at an anal bead joke. Many elements are borrowed from other movies. I am sick to death of scenes where characters helplessly watch a loved one succumb to dementia. I’ve seen done well for laughs, and done well for tears. Like zombies, there is simply no innovation left for forgetful old people. As with the rest of Choke, the scenes with Victor’s mother are tedious.

I said last week that I had high hopes for this one. Next time I should trust BYT. I like Palahniuk as much as the next guy, but this movie was enough to make me approach his next book with apprehension. Choke was just so… mediocre.

Here are better movies about sex-crazed scoundrels that you should know about:

Carnal Knowledge. After making Catch-22, widely considered a disappointment, director Mike Nichols returned to his roots with this battle-of-the-sexes movie. The story follows Jon (Jack Nicholson) and Sandy (Art Garfunkel) from college to middle age. As you can probably guess from the title, the movie focuses largely on how these two interact with women. Jon and Sandy never mature. Ever. They yearn for women, but can’t begin to understand them. In college, Jon and Sandy have some luck but are ultimately rejected. As they get older (I wouldn’t say they’re adults), their behavior become psychologically abusive. Nichols never gives the characters any sort of redemption – Jon and Sandy ultimately become caricatures of themselves. A telling line is when a 40ish Sandy says of his girlfriend, “She may only be 17, but in many ways, I’m telling you, she’s older than me.” I have female friends who were shown this movie by their parents and were warned, “This is how men are.” Don’t watch Carnal Knowledge with your girlfriend.

A Shock to the System. Michael Caine is one of the most watchable actors around, which is critical to the success of this movie. The director needs someone for whom the audience can have instinctive sympathy. Caine plays Graham, who is an absolute bastard. His home life leaves much to be desired, so he seeks solace in his rise up the corporate ladder. When the big promotion goes to the new guy, Graham loses it. He systematically eliminates the annoyances in his life – both at home and at the office. Graham’s wife, who is a nasty shrew, turns up dead. So does Graham’s new boss. Naturally, the cops begin to suspect foul play. Sound familiar? Meanwhile, Graham finds a young co-worker (Elizabeth McGovern) who helps mend his shattered ego/libido. Given how morally repugnant how the movie finds its protagonist, you expect Graham to get his just deserts. It’s a refreshing to see how the director toy with the audience’s expectations. You won’t know whether Graham gets away with it until the movie’s final frames. But no matter what the outcome, here’s a movie that remembers how entertaining nasty characters can be.

Auto-Focus. Director Paul Schrader continues his exploration of perverse masculinity with this biopic of Bob Crane, the ex star of Hogan’s Heroes. Greg Kinnear does a great job of portraying Crane, a profoundly shallow man who eventually uses his likability to help his sex addiction. He meets John Carpenter (Willem Dafoe), a co-dependent weirdo who just happens to have a shitload of video equipment. Naturally, Carpenter begins filming Crane’s sexual escapades. All this happens in the swinging 70s, a setting which only intensifies Crane’s excesses. Soon his stable family life crumbles. What makes the movie compelling is how Crane is a husk of a man – despite his nonstop gratification, he seems devoid of pleasure. He’s all id and no ego: Crane knows how to go through the motions of being a likable TV personality, but has no idea what makes him engaging. The story leads up to Crane’s murder in an Arizona hotel, but as with Schrader’s other movies, there is no definitive conclusion. This is a creepy, creepy movie about the sorts of people I hope to never meet. Auto-Focus is wall-to-wall with nudity, but there is not one moment of eroticism. It’s worth watching to see how fame and hedonism cause an otherwise ordinary man to spiral out of control. Be sure to budget time for a shower after it’s over.

That’s it for this week’s “Another Movie Guy?”! I’m actually not sure what I’ll see next week. It’ll either be Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist, Blindness, or Appaloosa. What do you guys suggest?

Another Movie Guy?: American Film Renaissance Preview

Move over, Toronto! Forget Silverdocs and Reel Affirmations! There’s a new sheriff in town. That’s right, folks - the 2008 AFR (American Film Renaissance) Film Festival begins shortly. Unlike those other HOLLYWOOD FESTIVALS that pander to the LIBRUL MEDIA, this is, “the first and only film festival in the world for conservatives. Your only chance to see the films Hollywood doesn’t want you to see.”

Running from October 1st through the 4th, the 2008 AFR festival offers seven selections that will appeal to the Republican in us all. For those who can’t wait to sink their teeth into conservative cinema, I offer a sneak preview of what’s in store:

The Dukes. Making its DC premier, The Dukes tells the story of washed-up Doo Wop singers who embark on a jewelry heist. The movie is written/directed by Robert Davi, who stars alongside Chazz Palminteri. I have absolutely no idea what makes The Dukes conservative (perhaps the GOP is full of Doo Wop enthusiasts?). I can tell you, however, that Hollywood doesn’t want you see this movie because it’s full of old people. You know, the movie doesn’t look half bad – even Variety gave it a positive review. The Dukes probably struggled to find a distributor, and ended up on the third-tier festival circuit. This one might be worth your time. After all, even old people deserve our support!

When: Wednesday, October 1st, 7pm
Where: AMC Loews Georgetown 14

For an extra $30, you can attend the after-party with Robert Davi, giving you the opportunity to ask, “Hey, aren’t you that guy from that movie?”

Do As I Say. Based on the 2005 book “Do as I Say (Not as I Do): Profiles in Liberal Hypocrisy,” this documentary points out how noted liberals Michael Moore, Noam Chomsky, Hillary Clinton, and Al Gore are good-for-nothing hypocrites. Duh. With the possible exception of Buddha, everyone is a hypocrite on some level. Needless to say, this is true of both liberals and conservatives. Don’t point out this obvious fact to director Nick Tucker – you wouldn’t want to burst his self-congratulatory bubble.

When: Thursday, October 2nd, 7pm
Where: The Carnegie Institution – 1530 P St. NW

For an extra $30, you can attend the after-party with Nick Tucker, giving you the opportunity to ask, “I know that Obama is an out-of-touch elitist, but just how many homes does McCain own again?”

An American Carol. You may have already seen previews for this conservative send-up of the classic Dickens novel. Chris Farley’s unfunny brother plays Michael Malone, a Michael Moore clone who hates America. After ghostly visits and a country show, Malone learns the error of his ways. Starring a wide variety of Hollywood conservatives, this movie looks painfully unfunny. I was genuinely surprised to learn that the man behind this movie is David Zucker – the same guy who directed Airplane!. Zucker employs the same joke-saturation method that made Airplane! such a success, but judging from the preview, he seems to absolutely annihilate any goodwill his earlier successes earn him.

When: Friday, October 3rd, TBA
Where: Regal Chinatown 14

For an extra $5, you can attend a subsequent pub crawl, giving you the opportunity to drunkenly discuss how comedic timing knows no political agenda.

Dangerous Calling. A young pastor and his wife arrive at a small town. He takes over the local Baptist church, and soon discovers that the previous pastor died under mysterious circumstances. A creepy widow watches closely. Soon it’s clear that the widow and her sheltered son had something to do with the murder. Wrought with mother issues, Dangerous Calling looks like a Sunday school rip-off of Psycho – it simply replaces Janet Leigh with a bland man-of-the-cloth. I doubt this movie has a shower scene.  I doubt that Josh Daws, making his directorial debut, is the second coming of Hitchcock. I have little doubt, however, that the dearly departed Hitchcock is spinning in his grave.

When: Saturday, October 4th, 1:30pm
Where: Goethe-Institut Washington – 812 Seventh St. NW

Shorts Block. Drew Carey hosts the screening of various short films. I remember thinking his sitcom was funny when I was a teenager. Since then, he’s made The Price is Right unwatchable. I’m sure he’ll ruin this, too. It might be fun to shout out, “Where’s Plinko?“

When: Saturday, October 4th, 3:30pm
Where: Goethe-Institut Washington – 812 Seventh St. NW

Blocking the Path to 9/11: The Anatomy of a Smear. This movie exposes how Bill Clinton censored the airing of The Path to 9/11, an ABC miniseries. The trailer features talking heads and exploitative footage. Naturally, the filmmakers are courageous trailblazers whose film is an unrivaled cinematic achievement. And the Clintons, of course, are a group of Stalinist authoritarians whose crimes are akin to the world’s worst dictator.  I’m sure this documentary gives a complete, even-handed account of why The Path to 9/11 never made its way to network TV.

When: Saturday, October 4th, 5:30pm
Where: Goethe-Institut Washington – 812 Seventh St. NW

U.N. Me. This movie is making its world premier. No preview is available, so I’ll just post the summary from the festival website:

In this striking documentary, filmmaker Ami Horowitz illustrates how the United Nations — the world’s foremost humanitarian organization created to ennoble mankind — has become so ravaged by corruption that it actually enables evil and creates global chaos.  By examining failures in Rwanda and Darfur, and the Oil for Food scandal, Horowitz shows how the UN has become the pacifier of dictators, thugs and tyrants.  Using a unique blend of the informational qualities of a traditional documentary and the entertainment value of a narrative film, U.N. Me is irreverent, humorous and intense.  Filmed in Africa, the Middle East, Europe and the US.  Run Time: Approx 90 min.  Not rated.  Introduction and Q&A with director, Ami Horowitz.

Wine and cheese reception at the Goethe-Institut to follow. (ed: Wine and cheese is a little Hollywood, dontchathink?).

When: Saturday, October 4th, 8:30pm
Where: Goethe-Institut Washington – 812 Seventh St. NW

So there you have it, folks! Of the many offerings, The Dukes seems like the most worthwhile choice. Still, it might be worth watching movies that will never make it to E Street. Tickets are available on the festival website.

Another Movie Guy?: "Battle in Seattle," etc

Welcome to “Another Movie Guy?”! I review recent new releases, and then mention similar movies worth checking out. If all goes according to plan, you’ll have some new additions to your Netflix queue. Or someone with whom you can angrily disagree.

Nine years ago, I remember reading about the Seattle WTO protests with only a dim understanding of the controversy. I am therefore glad that Stuart Townsend, the writer/director of Battle in Seattle, begins his movie with a brief history of the WTO. After the introduction, Townsend tries to give a complete portrait what happened. He clearly has an agenda, but does a good job of giving a top-down account of the protest.

Rather than focusing broadly on the clash between police and protesters, Townsend introduces the audience to a few key players. The mayor (Ray Liotta) struggles to have all voices heard safely. Inside the talks, a public health expert (Rade Serbedzija) desperately tries to give voice to his cause. A journalist (Connie Nielsen) becomes increasingly moved by the protesters. A cop (Woody Harrelson) and his wife (Charlize Theron) just try and make it through in one piece. The activists, all impassioned, do not necessarily share a collective voice. Once these groups clash, it becomes a clusterfuck.

Townsend employs is documentary-like approach – he effectively gives the audience a taste of confusion and violence. Soon political outrage gives way to personal outrage. Many of these characters have wounds from their past, and the charged climate only exacerbates their anger. Townsend’s approach is mostly successful, but sometimes forced. There is a major plot development that attentive viewers will be able to guess immediately. The development seems too on-the-nose (think of Crash‘s contrivances), but at least it leads to the movie’s most effective political scene. The poignancy of the scene ultimately dwarfs the corniness necessary to get there.

The performances are all realistic. Ray Liotta is noteworthy for portraying a decent man who runs out of options. Connie Nielson, a good conduit for the audience, effectively transitions from observer to participant. By that same token, the activists are like other radicals portrayed in movies before – they’re static characters, and never particularly compelling. As a passionate man with an endlessly positive attitude, Andre 3000 is the most memorable. My favorite, however, is the public health expert. Instead of subverting the talks, the man tries to work towards the best possible solution. It’s difficult to watch him fight for the poor as listeners become increasingly interested in the chaos outside.

Battle in Seattle will evoke strong reactions. As I was watching, a man shouted chants at the screen (I promptly told him to shut up). Townsend makes many political points, and different ones will resonate with different people. I was struck by the stupidity and misplaced anger of the anarchists. I was struck by Andre 3000′s “Tortoise and the hare” approach. I was struck by how a powerful few impact billions, and yet have little accountability. Despite some minor plot grievances, the movie is worth watching. Townsend is a solid director – I would chalk his missteps to the fact that this movie is his first. He has acted before, but never in anything good (Tom Cruise is a better Lestat). If I were him, I’d stick to directing. I’d like to see what he does next.

Here are some other movies that present a massive canvas of urban political violence:

The Battle of Algiers. You know a movie is special the Pentagon, the IRA, and the Black Panthers use it to study guerrilla warfare. Released in the late 1960s, The Battle of Algiers is a stunning portrayal of how native Algerians fought against the French government. To say its was release was controversial is an understatement. It galvanized political figures on both sides of the spectrum, and the movie was banned in France for five years. It eschews traditional war movie clichés: instead of focusing a tight band of stereotypical characters, the viewer watches events from a larger scale. The effect is similar to that of a news reel. As the movie continues, we watch tactics develop, not characters. The stakes rise as Algerian children plant bombs and the French torture their suspects. Some sequences, the riot scenes in particular, are absolutely stunning to watch. It’s hard to believe that no single frame is documentary footage.

Bloody Sunday. Before making United 93 and the Bourne sequels, director Paul Greengrass made this dramatization of the infamous clash between the NICRA and British troops. The movie centers on a civil rights leader (James Nesbitt, the cop from Match Point) as he tries to corral a peaceful protest. Some minor characters are given a chance to develop, but most of the movie centers on the broader conflict, and how quickly it escalated. Helplessness and confusion are the overriding emotions here. A series of mis-communications between military HQ and troops on the ground created a deadly conflict. Greengrass makes it abundantly clear that the British troops fired first. If you’ve seen the Bourne sequels before, you know Greengrass’ style: tight shots, with a confusing sense of space. While such an approach is tedious for an action movie, it serves this subject matter well. As with Battle in Seattle, the viewer’s disorientation is not unlike what troops and protesters might have felt. Yes, the movie features the U2 song, but it is tastefully done over the closing credits.

Chicago 10. Released earlier this year, this strange documentary portrays the trial of those who organized the protest of the 1968 Democratic National Convention. The courtroom scenes are animated, and voice actors read from the transcripts. The movie also features traditional news footage of cops brutalizing the protesters. Hank Azaria, who regularly voices Moe, is particularly noteworthy as Abbie Hoffman, the famous Yippie who deliberately subverted the court’s authority. Director Peter Morgan does a good job of presenting how the defendants turned the courtroom into a circus. Some moments, as when Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin come to court in judicial robes, are genuinely funny. It’s surreal when the defense calls Allen Ginsberg and Norman Mailer to the stand. Eventually, these tactics bring the judge (Roy Scheider) to a breaking point – he has Bobby Seale bound and gagged. As I watched, I couldn’t help but feel anger as the authorities wantonly abused their power. For a movie about the 60s, Chicago 10 feels pretty relevant.

That’s it for this week’s “Another Movie Guy?”! Tune in next week when I need the heimlich.

Another Movie Guy?: "Burn After Reading" etc

Welcome to “Another Movie Guy?”! I review recent new releases, and then mention similar movies worth checking out. If all goes according to plan, you’ll have some new additions to your Netflix queue. Or someone with whom you can angrily disagree.

The Coen Brothers seem like they’re deliberately subverting the praise they receive. After Fargo, they make The Big Lewbowski, a cult comedy that doesn’t approach its predecessor. Now after making No Country for Old Men, their biggest critical success, they make Burn After Reading, a funny movie about profoundly stupid people. Compared to No Country, Burn After Reading has modest goals, but I wouldn’t put it up there with the Coens’ best comedies.

Osborne Cox (John Malkovich) gets fired for drinking too much. An alcoholic prick, Osborne begins working on his memoir, as I imagine most ex-CIA analysts do. Linda (Frances McDormand) is deeply dissatisfied with her body, and seeks expensive cosmetic surgery. Through online dating, she meets Harry (George Clooney), a bodyguard who is also sleeping with Osborne’s wife (Tilda Swinton, my favorite actress). In the midst of all this, Linda’s co-worker Chad (Brad Pitt) discovers a CD containing Osborne’s sensitive information. Chad, who can be generously described as a man-child, tries to blackmail Osborne so that Linda can improve herself. Stupidity ensues.

Like in many of their movies, the Coen Brothers present a complex situation that none of the characters completely grasp. As an actor who excels at letting you watch him think, it’s a delight to watch Clooney be absolutely dumbfounded.  McDormand brings moments of alarming pathos to her role. She plays Linda straight – I found myself empathizing with her recklessly positive attitude. But for all its strengths, the movie isn’t completely successful. I didn’t laugh when I felt that I should – plot triumphs over comedy. That isn’t to say, however, that the movie is devoid of laughs. Brad Pitt’s performance is inspired. Clooney’s character is working on a project that provides the best sight gag in any Coen Brothers movie. And JK Simmons, a reliable character actor who plays the CIA director, hilariously dispatches plot lines with a combination of confusion and casual malevolence. Yet the movie is more entertaining than it is funny.

Not every Coen Brothers movie is a success, but they are all interesting. Burn After Reading won’t be remembered as one of their greats. It felt like Intolerable Cruelty – consistently odd, occasionally inspired. If you are willing to embrace the movie’s glorious stupidity, you’ll have a good time. Just don’t expect No Country for Old Men (or The Big Lebowski, for that matter).

Here are other smart comedies about stupid people:

Being There. Peter Sellers stars in this dark satire directed by Hal “Harold and Maude” Ashby. Sellers plays Chance, a moronic gardener with the demeanor/dress of a WASP. When Chance’s caretaker dies, he wanders into the streets and is flabbergasted by what surrounds him. Punks harass Chance, so he points the TV remote at the boys, trying to change the channel. He looks genuinely confused when nothing happens. Eventually political elites discover Chance, and regard his empty insights as profound. There’s talk of Chance becoming a presidential candidate. What makes this movie work is Sellers’ performance – he never once breaks character, and never gives Chance a chance to develop. A few scenes create some belly laughs – consider the double meaning when Chance tells Shirley MacLaine’s character that “he likes to watch.” The infamous last shot (seen above) is as subversive as any joke I’ve seen in an American movie.

A Fish Called Wanda. Kevin Kline won an academy award for his portrayal Otto, the insanely stupid weapons man in this complex heist comedy. Four buffoons steal a shitload of diamonds, and two of them try to nab all the loot in the aftermath. Soon a stuck-up lawyer, played by John Cleese, gets wrapped up in all the wanton backstabbing. Co-written by Cleese, the screenplay is rich with situational irony and one-liners. Unlike most comedies which immediately try for laughs, A Fish Called Wanda begins by observing the idiosyncrasies of its characters, and letting the comedy grow from there. I particularly like the actress who plays John Cleese’s supremely bitchy wife. The line, “Avoid the green [fish] – they’re not quite ripe yet” always brings a chuckle. I’ve seen this movie at least six times, and yet always find new jokes to appreciate (pay attention to the background music during the funerals).

State and Main. David Mamet usually makes intense dramas wrought with cons and emotional abuse, so it’s a pleasant surprise that he also made this lighthearted show business satire. A group of Hollywood types descend on a small Vermont town, using the quaint setting as a backdrop for their new movie. Naturally the townsfolk clash with their visitors. Sarah Jessica Parker and Alec Baldwin play the stars of the movie-within-the movie. They have ludicrous problems that give the production team a headache (she’s reluctant to bare her breasts on screen*, he’s into 14 year old girls). The movie works because of its stellar cast and because of the snappy dialog. Like all David Mamet movies, the screenplay has many repeated lines, and the actors’ delivery has an unusual rhythm. State and Main is the sort of comedy that’s short on belly laughs but provides plenty of chuckles. You’ll find yourself repeating your favorite lines long after the movie is over. Go you Huskies!

* One character observes, “I don’t know what her problem is. She takes off her shirt to do a voice-over. What’s her problem? The country could draw her tits from memory.”

That’s it for this week’s “Another Movie Guy?”! Tune in next week when I fuck up the WTO’s shit.

Another Movie Guy?: Upcoming New Releases that CERN Obliterated

Since those fools at CERN have recklessly ruined life as we know it, my thoughts turn to what I’ll be missing: my aunt’s delicious Thanksgiving stuffing, the third season of Dexter, and (perhaps more importantly) the upcoming Academy Award season! If you’re anything like me and waste countless hours watching movie trailers, you’ll know that that this fall/winter have a few apocalyptic features in store. Here’s a rundown of upcoming end-of-the-world movies:

The Road. Since No Country for Old Men won Best Picture last spring, Cormac McCarthy adaptations have become increasingly popular. In fact, Todd “Little Children” Field is working on an adaptation of Blood Meridian, a book which many regard as unfilmable. But I digress – John Hillcoat is currently putting the finishing touches on his vision of The Road. An unknown force has destroyed the planet. Few remain, and resources are scarce. Amidst this madness, a man (Viggo Mortensen) and a boy (Kodi Smit-McPhee) trek through the grim landscape. Along the way, they fight off starvation, desperation, and cannibals. I’ve only seen production photos, but The Road looks depressing as hell. Maybe LHC is a blessing in disguise: I won’t be subjected to this haunting movie that’ll no doubt ruin my weekend.

Suggested Alternative: Watch John Hillcoat’s last movie, The Proposition. Sure, the world is ending, but at least you aren’t stuck on a sun-drenched Australian desert.

The Day the Earth Stood Still. Famous for its huge fucking robot, The Day the Earth Still is a corny sci-fi movie from the early 1950s. Now it’s being remade with Keanu Reeves as the alien visitor who warns humanity of its potential destruction. Whoa. Reeves is the right choice for the role – with his blank stare and hollow delivery, he has a gift for playing otherworldly characters. I have misgivings about this one (director Scott Derrickson has made so-so remakes before). But since the movie also features Jennifer Connelly and Jon “Mr. Draper” Hamm, I’ll probably see it anyway.

Suggested Alternative: Watch the 1951 version. In the afterlife, you can make the claim that, “The original was so much better!”

Blindness. A man is driving down the road and goes blind. Instead of seeing all black, he sees only a milky-white. Soon others are going blind – a plague spreads over the city, and the infected are put into quarantine. Only the doctor’s wife (Julianne Moore) still has the ability to see. That’s the premise for Fernando “City of God” Meirelles’ adaptation of the Jose Saramago novel. The book is one of my favorites – it’s unnerving to read how infrastructure breaks down and ordinary people lose their humanity. The movie had a tepid response at the Cannes Film festival, but reports from the Toronto International Film Festival say that the new cut is a vast improvement. It’s a shame everyone will be missing this.

Suggested Alternative: Read the Saramago novel. Even if black holes will soon rip our atoms to shreds, it’s never too late to curl up with a good book.

That’s it for my fall doomsday preview! Remember that once they turn LHC on, it’s not like anyone will be around to miss you!

Another Movie Guy?: "Transsiberian" etc.

Welcome to “Another Movie Guy?”! I review recent new releases, and then mention similar movies worth checking out. If all goes according to plan, you’ll have some new additions to your Netflix queue. Or someone with whom you can angrily disagree.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5MUTPx_SIY&hl=en&fs=1]

Transsiberian is a surprisingly effective thriller. Brad Anderson, who has previously directed decent but unmemorable movies, outdoes himself here. I’m always grateful when a movie so masterfully manipulates my emotions. My response to Transsiberian was visceral – I squirmed in my seat, but stopped short of shouting at the screen.

Roy (Woody Harrelson) and Jessie (Emily Mortimer) are a married couple who just finished their humanitarian work in China. Roy is a train buff, and drags his wife on the Transsiberian Express from Beijing to Moscow. They share their compartment with another couple – the smooth Spaniard Carlos, and the young American Abby. Roy, who is too affable, does not notice that Carlos is immediately attracted to Jessie. She instinctively doesn’t trust him. As the conversation continues, we learn that Jessie is a recovering alcoholic and reformed bad girl. Let there be no doubt that she has seen Carlos’ type before. Despite her misgivings, Jessie and Carlos eventually end up alone in the forest. Roy meanwhile befriends a Russian cop (Ben Kingsley) who becomes increasingly suspicious of the foreigners.

Any further discussion of the plot would be criminal. The movie’s strongest asset is its pacing: first taking its time, then quickly ratcheting up the intensity. The final thirty minutes are relentless. Characters make hard choices not based on the convenience of the plot, but on their natures. The performances are uniformly strong. Harrelson, who lately has had some stellar roles, plays Roy as a goofy guy who steadfastly defends his wife. Mortimer, who excels at playing gentle souls, tempers that archetype, making Jessie into a good woman with a wild streak. You get the impression she cannot help herself. Ben Kingsley, of course, can play a role like this in his sleep. The location only adds to the terror. The Russian landscape is harsh and unforgiving (as are the locals).

In a year of stellar thrillers, here is another. After playing in Bethesda for a few weeks, Transsiberian began screening at the Chinatown Regal. Go see it.

Here are some other train thrillers worth knowing about:

The General. Buster Keaton movies always brighten my day. Amidst chaos, Keaton maintains his cool and usually gets the girl. Here he plays Johnnie, a southern railroad engineer whose prized train, The General, gets stolen by Union troops. Hopping on another train, he follows the thieves, embarking an a wildly inventive chase. Even after eighty years, the stunts are still exciting, especially considering that many could not be faked. I was particularly astonished when Johnnie sits on the edge of a moving train and knocks a log off the tracks. I would probably pause and think about the danger if I wasn’t so wrapped up in the chase. And of course, Keaton maintains his famous stone face throughout. Keaton will always be my favorite silent comedian. As Roger Ebert once wrote, when choosing between Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton, “Only a Frenchman could think it was Chaplin.”

Strangers on a Train. Alfred Hitchcock directed this 1952 adaptation of a Patricia Highsmith novel. Sadly, the novelty of the premise was slightly ruined because I saw Throw Momma From the Train first. Bruno and Guy begin a conversation, and discover they both have a woman in their lives that “they want to get rid of.” Bruno suggests they swap murders – one kills the other’s problem, thereby eliminating motive. Guy declines, but Bruno nonetheless follows through with the plan. Highsmith adaptations are psychologically complex, and this movie is no exception. Watch as the dominating Bruno goads the relatively meek guy. Their relationship is more than a little gay. Hitchcock fills the screen with his trademark style and thrilling set-pieces – the carousel sequence is particularly effective. Sure, the majority of the movie does is off the train, but this is nonetheless my favorite of the director’s perfect murder movies.

and finally

Murder on the Orient Express. Between Serpico and Dog Day Afternoon, Sidney Lumet directed this Agatha Christie adaptation that feels more than a little old-fashioned. About a dozen weirdos are on board a train from Istanbul to Calais. An American is mysteriously found dead. With the train stuck in a snow drift, it is up to famed detective Hercule Poirot (Albert Finney) to solve the case. He interviews all the suspects individually, giving each weirdo a moment to shine. Playing a crass American, Lauren Bacall deserves special attention, as does John Gielgud, who plays the murdered man’s butler (the butler didn’t do it). How Poirot solves the case stretches credibility. Then again, the movie’s goal is to amuse, not thrill. Murder on the Orient Express simply gives famous actors a chance to play unusual characters, and succeeds on that level. Besides, it’s always great to see Vanessa Redgrave in her prime.

That’s it for this week’s “Another Movie Guy?”! Tune in next week when I demand the money, dickwad.